3 comments«1»anonymous readerReport 2011-11-24 10:38:46Whom have you robbed of this story ? It clearly was originaly written in the third person, and you just put it in first person, but letting so much “him” or “they” go through …anonymous readerReport 2011-11-15 22:44:08Good story, but you really gotta break up you paragraphs and proof read it.anonymous readerReport 2011-11-15 09:27:02Spelling, grammer, sentance structure, and paragraph structure all suck. xxx hd It clearly was originaly written in the third person, and you just put it in first person, but letting so much “him” or “they” go through …anonymous readerReport 2011-11-15 22:44:08Good story, but you really gotta break up you paragraphs and proof read it.anonymous readerReport 2011-11-15 09:27:02Spelling, grammer, sentance structure, and paragraph structure all suck. 3 comments«1»anonymous readerReport 2011-11-24 10:38:46Whom have you robbed of this story ?
